Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Great Wall

And she sits
Among her American Himalayas
In valleys of darkness
Buried beneath the weight
Of greatness
Of her high horse
Looking over
The brink
Of beauty
Unable to see
The roof of the world
Her great wall
Stretches too far
For her
To see anything
But each brick
Each joint
So she chips
And scratches
At each
Delicate pause
Each
Delicate
Nomenclature
She scratches
With 3 pieces of silver
From her pocket
Hoping to defy
The noose
That is around her neck
The same way
The weary and desperate
Hope to defy
The disappointment
Behind the foil
Of a lottery ticket
She chips and scratches
Making dust
Making piles of shit
Making more mountains
To be moved
And so she screams
At the voices
Behind the wall
As if to say
"You have no right
To be
On the other side
You have no right
To see
the other side"
She screams
As if to say
"You have no write"
...and I quietly whisper back
"fuck you"


This is for "One Shot Wednesday" over at One Stop Poetry.  Please follow the link and check it out


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11 comments:

  1. ClaudiaFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    this was probably the perfect reply..don't you ever believe what she screams..

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  2. hedgewitchFebruary 9, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    Agree with Claudia--rarely have I taken such an instant dislike to a created character..."...she scratches with 3 pieces of silver..." She would.

    Whether she represents someone flesh and blood, or just the anti-muse, she is a dark mistress not worthy of service.

    Fine poem.

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  3. SusannahFebruary 9, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    I really enjoyed your writing here. Wonderful.

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  4. Natasha HeadFebruary 9, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    I feel much pity for this poor, undefined, creature. The noose, deserved or not, is still there. The wall...that is our own to overcome, and look at what she has produced for you here, if I have inturpreted the meaning correctly; a brilliant, colourful, powerful piece. I dare say you've got no problem scaling the wall to put her out of her misery. Loved the thought that was brought on as a result of the write. Will stay with me. Bravo...also really enjoyed your thoughts at Onestop! :)

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  5. ~Sarah~February 9, 2011 at 5:25 PM

    I didn't dislike her. I felt pity and empathy and sadness. Kind of reminds me of Paul Simon's "Something So Right" - often our misery is made or sustained by our own walls.

    ReplyDelete
  6. BeachannyFebruary 9, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    I'm with Sarah - I thought "she" was the alter ego, the downer pulling you back from scaling the wall, flying into adventures, that responsible constant who wants the grass mowed, the taxes done, the floors vacuumed. To that one - let's all say FU & F her too. Thanks, Gay

    ReplyDelete
  7. kennyFebruary 9, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    Oh, fantastic! First of all, great blog design, very nice.

    Then the poem...all the way from... 'And she sits...' I was enthralled. The images are very vivid, yet it talks of the soul and walls and things that are not really there.

    It's very good.

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  8. D.C. LutzFebruary 10, 2011 at 8:29 AM

    Thank you everybody
    It is true,"she", is both flesh and blood as well as my figurative "anti-muse". Sometimes physical demons can stir up the ones that reside inside--and sometimes, ya just gotta give em the finger (in the nices way possible, of course).
    I appreciate the kind words and your time spent reading and contemplating, truly.

    ReplyDelete
  9. loriFebruary 10, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    This was quite dark and beautiful. I liked the line, "buried beneath the weight of greatness." I think I'll read this a few more times to soak it all in. :) Thanks for the nice words over at my site.

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  10. Shashi SFebruary 11, 2011 at 8:50 PM

    Well... 'American Himalayas' a new way to connect with Himalaya's and I liked it. Your verse is very vivid and your last lines so subtly powerful, I enjoyed it so much..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-another-kind-of-valentines-day.html

    ReplyDelete
  11. Brian MillerMarch 9, 2011 at 9:45 PM

    not sure how i missed this the first time around...power write man...and yeah i think that is about the perfect line to fire back...ugh...

    ReplyDelete

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